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A 16 year old boy is thrown into a school filled with gamblers at his parents request as a way to harden him and help him develop a sense of power, confidence, and skill. Sadly the only way he could acquire that, is by gambling. Something he truly believed he was never good at. That is until he meets a girl, Yumeko. Work Search: tip: austen words:0 sort:title.

It started with a thought, 'think of the risk of crossing the street without looking.' It startled Mary, but she knew that was an insane thought and brushed it off.

———————————————————————

It seemed that the same intersection sparked even more risky thoughts.

Mary and Yumeko were walking to the former girl's dorm. Mary had forgotten about what happened at the same intersection they were about to cross. The taller girlfriend had let go of the other's arm and danced across the road with her eyes closed blissfully.

'Yumeko! That was dangerous!' Mary shouted over the other girl's laughter.

'C'mon Mary! It's like a gamble. Plus, what are the odds that I'm actually gonna get hit?'

As Mary caught up to Yumeko, she mumbled, 'Jeez, do you take random risks like that all the time?'

Yumeko's bright eyes went blank as she asked for Mary to repeat the question.

Mary understood quickly that Yumeko's addiction went further than she expected. Knowing this, she brushed off the topic and moved on.

———————————————————————

A couple of days later at the same walkway, the thought came back. This time it was accompanied by a familiar feeling. It was the same pit in her stomach when she was gambling.

She stood still as the timer ticked down. There's no way she'd do something so carelessly stupid, but her inner risk-taker didn't think it was a big deal. If a car came up, it would stop once it saw her. Even if it was a tiny part of her, there was still a part that felt enticed by the chance that maybe they wouldn't see her.

She was terrified of that part of her. She would never bid her life on a gamble, so why would she even think about risking her life randomly. Mary's infatuation with that small chance of not surviving was unknown to her. She didn't want to die.

No. As she crossed the road, she thoroughly looked both ways. Mary Saotome wasn't going to give in to this random risk-taking voice in her head.

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Mary stayed away from gambling that week and started driving to Hyakkaou University. Yumeko didn't want to make Mary second guess her decision, so she didn't say anything. How could she when Mary hadn't talked to her, in person, since they studied at her dorm the other day?

Yumeko loved seeing Mary's gambling side but understood it took a lot out of her. She was glad that Mary was able to take breaks. Yumeko wishes she could abstain from gambling for that long.

Little did Yumeko know, Mary was itching for a risk.

Mary had lightly gone over the fact that she was taking a break from gambling to her friends. Nobody questioned her decision. Especially not her gambling addict girlfriend, Yumeko. Mary had realized that, before the first incident, she had been caught up in a few high-staked gambles. Her thoughts must've been a result. It was best to take her mind off of gambling.

It didn't feel that way, though. Mary couldn't walk past the gambling dens without her thoughts clouding her mind. It'd been so long since she'd gambled; her hands begged to grab some chips and cards. She had been late to her classes trying to find ways to avoid the dens.

In doing this, she had barely any time to talk to her friends, or at least that's the excuse she gave. It was a blessing and a curse. The blessing was that she didn't have to face Yumeko. She knew that before Yumeko even spoke she'd break down. She didn't want Yumeko to see her cry. Not only that, but her thoughts got worse when she even in the presence of the red-eyed girl.

The curse was that she felt guilty for not even speaking to the person who was most important to her, but she couldn't help it. She knew Yumeko wouldn't back down from a life-threatening gamble, and her thoughts would reflect that.

Mary loved gambling with Yumeko. Having conversations through facial expressions, being so vulnerable without being judged, sharing secrets in a world they created all made Yumeko Mary's perfect gambling partner.

Mary's thoughts took advantage of how flawlessly they gambled together and altered them. For Yumeko, Mary would bet everything she had. The worst part about it was that Yumeko would do the same.

———————————————————————

Mary's idea to avoid crossing roads backfired when her inner voice started urging her to not wear her seatbelt. The rush of her blood was addictive. She was just driving to school; it was only five minutes away; she would be fine!

The chance that she wouldn't be fine was tempting. She would feel rewarded when she arrived safely.

Then it hit her.

The reward.

It finally made sense why those thoughts were so attractive. She wasn't lured in by what might happen. She was lured in by how amazing it would feel if it didn't. That's when Mary gave into the addiction.

———————————————————————

'Mary! What a surprise to see you in a gambling den!' Yumeko was suspicious and slightly hurt to see her girlfriend gambling a large number of chips, way too large for Mary's usual amount. Not to mention, Mary was gambling.

It had been two weeks since Mary stopped gambling. Yumeko tried to ignore how much it hurt that Mary wasn't even speaking to her. Yumeko understood that Mary didn't easily open up, and if she needed time, Yumeko would allow her to take it, but suddenly gambling a million yen over a game of Go Fish wasn't Mary's style.

'Do you mind if I join in on the fun? It seems like you intend to bet quite a lot,' Yumeko slid into the chair across from Mary. The black-haired girl's smile was laced with anger she knew only the blonde could see.

Mary's cheeks somehow got darker. Yumeko obviously could tell that it wasn't out of embarrassment, because she wears the same shade of red when she's drunk on gambling. Yumeko could count on one hand how many times she'd seen that look from Mary. The stakes were ten times higher than a simple game of Go Fish. Yet Mary's golden eyes were pleading for a challenge from Yumeko.

'Not at all, please do, Yumeko,' Mary's eyes prolonged the couple's intense staring contest. Yumeko couldn't take how needy Mary looked. She was holding onto sanity for as long as she could. Neither of them heard the other students leaving for their classes and talking about them behind their backs.

Their trance was broken once Itsuki slammed her hand on the table. 'I hope you realize you cleared an entire den because of your horny gambling.'

'Yeah guys, you might want to stop here,' Ryota added looking sheepishly at the floor.

'Mary,' Yumeko couldn't believe she almost lost herself. She hadn't gotten that deep into a gamble offer since high school.

Before Yumeko could try to reason with her girlfriend, Mary dealt the cards. 'Don't stop me now.'

Yumeko hesitantly pushed her cards back. 'This isn't you Mary. Can we please talk?'

Mary picked up her cards. Golden eyes pierced through Yumeko's, 'This is talking. Let's go.'

Mary pushed her ten hundred-thousand yen chips toward Yumeko. 'Fold.'

'You haven't even picked up your cards. This isn't you.' Mary scoffed rolling her eyes.

Itsuki and Ryota understood that this wasn't a normal gamble between them and took this as a point to silently leave.

'What do you mean by that?'

'You know exactly what I mean by that. It's your turn to deal.'

'I'm not gambling with you.'

'Really, Yumeko? If Itsuki hadn't said anything, you would be with me right now.'

'I don't want to be where you are, Mary!'

'Fuck it!' Mary slapped the chips off the table. Her eyes became even brighter and her blush became deeper. Her palms shook the table as they hit it. She gasped with every breath: 'I know you just felt it, too! You want to feel the risk!' She grabbed Yumeko's hand, 'Yumeko, please. What are you waiting for? Let's get our gam-'

'STOP!' Yumeko pulled her hand away and stumbled backward. Her chest was heaving air into her lungs. Hearing Mary say the same words Yumeko did when her addiction was at its worst made Yumeko realize what happened to Mary. 'How long have you been like this?'

Mary was stunned. Where was her head? What was she saying? Why would she say that when Yumeko was trying to get better?

Yumeko.

Mary's hazel eyes looked back up at Yumeko, 'Oh my gosh, Yumeko are you okay? Please tell me I didn't just set you back. I'm so sorry; I don't know what I was thinking, ' Mary walked to Yumeko and placed her hands on her girlfriend's cheeks.

'Mary, how long have you been feeling impulsive?'

'I'm fine, Yumeko. I'm so sorry!' Mary's eyes brimmed with tears.

Yumeko put her thumbs under Mary's eyes to wipe away her tears. The coolness of her ring against her cheek gave her chills. 'I'm fine. I'm here for you. You have to let go, Mary.'

That's all it took for Mary to break. She dug her head into Yumeko's neck. The taller girl just stroked Mary's hair and mumbled words of reassurance.

When Mary's crying came to a stop, Yumeko offered, 'Why don't we go back to your dorm? I'm sure we've already missed enough classes. Our professors won't mind.'

Mary nodded in Yumeko's neck, but when Yumeko moved to get up, Mary stayed still. Yumeko giggled, 'Do you need me to carry you?'

Mary shook her head, but Yumeko grabbed the shorter girl's thighs and lifted her. Mary's arms went instinctively around her girlfriend's neck. 'So, you do need me to carry you?'

Mary shook her head again but didn't protest as they made their way to her dorm. At the infamous walkway, Mary wiggled out of Yumeko's arms without knowing they were at the place where it started. Their hands were still connected, and Yumeko could feel her girlfriend's trembling. Mary's eyes were glossy, but the other girl could still see that they were trained on something. When Yumeko heard the girl beside her's breath pick up once a car passed, she got a feeling of what she was doing.

Squeezing the blonde's hand, Yumeko brought Mary's attention to her: 'You're bargaining right now. You didn't get the real risk that you wanted from our gamble and know I'm not going to let you cross this street without looking both ways. It'll only make the feeling worse if you continue to imagine what would've happened if that car was seconds late,' Yumeko wasn't sure when she stopped just talking about the thoughts invading Mary's mind and started talking about her past ones. She could easily spot her old tendencies in Mary, 'I feel like if I make you talk now the thoughts will worsen, so let's talk about what's going to happen once we get home. We're going to take a bath, get comfortable, and talk while eating ice cream.'

For the first time in a while, Yumeko saw a real, flustered blush from Mary. 'I don't have to get in with you. I just want to make sure you don't do anything dangerous.'

'No, it's fine, ' Mary's thumb brushed Yumeko's ring as she held on tighter to the other girl's hand. Her eyes wandered to the ground.

'So you would like to take a bath with me?' Yumeko whispered to her blushing girlfriend and smirked.

'Y-Yumeko!' Mary's head tried to sink into her neck.

Yumeko laughed. She felt bad that the only way for her to distract Mary was to embarrass her. It didn't matter as long as she wasn't thinking about risking her life. 'I understand, Mary. Our last bath together was pretty memorable.'

Mary short-circuited at the seductive tone of Yumeko's voice and being reminded of their history with baths. They both knew Yumeko wouldn't do anything in Mary's state; although Yumeko knew Mary was most vulnerable in her afterglow, she wanted the shorter girl to talk on her own account, not because she was coming down from her high.

The sign had signaled it was time for them to walk. Mary felt a small shed of victory looking both ways. It showed them both that she would be okay.

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When they got home, Yumeko went straight to Mary's bathroom while the shorter girl lied down on her couch. Just as she was drifting off to sleep, Yumeko announced that the bath was ready.

Mindlessly, Mary got up and head for the bathroom. As she was tying her hair up and stripping down, the sleepy fog cleared from her mind. Yumeko stepped in to prepare for the bath after Mary settled in.

The gray light from outside felt cold on Mary's face, but it was probably because the water was so warm. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her legs.

Mary decided that before she talked with Yumeko she needed to process what happened. She couldn't believe how one thought spawned a downward spiral. She scoffed at herself.

Isn't that always how it starts?

She should've known from the start that even if she understood why risking her life made her feel so powerful, it wouldn't have been easy to make the feeling go away. She's furious that she allowed herself to cave in. Her hands were in shaking fists as her head landed on her knees.

'Mary?' Yumeko carefully moved across the bath to sit on her shins in front of her trembling girlfriend. She reached a hand out to rest on Mary's shoulder. She jolted at the contact, but relaxed when she remembered it was Yumeko. She was so distracted she didn't hear her slip in.

'Hah, I forgot you were here.' Mary's words were muffled due to her talking in to her knees. Her right hand came out of its fist and met Yumeko's on her shoulder. Her pained smile turned sour as another thought popped into her head, 'Push her back and get on top of her.'

As a response to this, Mary semi-forcefully pushed Yumeko's hand back. Recognizing the hurt on her face as she still held her hand, Mary apologized, 'Shit, Yumeko I'm sorry. It's just, a thought came and I didn't want to act on it.'

Yumeko immediately understood and smiled softly with a hint of smirk. Mary caught it immediately and stammered out, 'It's not what you're thinking! Well, kind of, but not- fuck!'

Yumeko giggled, 'It would give you a lot less trouble if you just told me. Not for any selfish reasons, but because talking about them helped me, and I think it'll help you, too.'

Mary mentally prepared herself to finally repeat one of her deafening thoughts. She had never said them aloud, but there was a risk to that, too. How would Yumeko react? How would she feel? Her heart pounded at the small possibility that by saying a single phrase, she would change or even ruin her relationship with the love of her life. It was such an unlikely option that it probably wouldn't happen, but the consequence would be so damaging.

But as soon as she opened her mouth, she stopped herself. 'Holy shit, I can't believe I almost did that. I turned another situation into a gamble. There's no way you would do that, but I focused on it so easily, ' Mary brought her hands to her face in anger, 'I fucking hate this!'

Yumeko grabbed Mary's wrists. Yumeko said her next words with a soft sternness she could only find for her girlfriend. 'Hey, I know it's tough. Acknowledging and stopping yourself is a great start. If it helps at all a thought that just popped into my mind was to move your knees apart. I know that that would be a terrible idea; even if there is a small chance that you would let me do it. If I acted on it, it would be bad for you, either way. So, no. I don't want that to happen and will not let that a thought that isn't mine change my mind about it.'

Yumeko's words hit deep in Mary's heart. They were like band-aids to all the wounds her intrusive thoughts caused. The tears that had stung her to keep inside finally broke through.

She didn't cry because she was hurt. She cried because she didn't have to face this alone. She let the tears fall because she was relieved that Yumeko understood her. She allowed her whole body to sob once she realized Yumeko wouldn't judge her for thoughts that weren't hers. Yumeko wouldn't leave her for thoughts that weren't hers.

Those intrusive thoughts weren't hers!

Mary hastily moved into a cross-crossed sitting position without caring about the water sloshing out of the tub. Before she settled into the position, she reached her arms out for Yumeko.

The black-haired girl eagerly wrapped her arms around Mary's waist and let her cry. She rubbed circles on her back and soothed her with soft words. 'Those words aren't yours. They are not who you are, and don't represent you. I love you so much. We can get through this together.'

The words seemed to make Mary cry harder. Yumeko didn't mind. She was happy to see Mary be so vulnerable with her. It warmed her heart that her girlfriend felt comfortable enough around Yumeko to cry this much. The blonde always joked that she was an ugly crier, but even with Mary's tears and snot running down her arm and chest, Yumeko couldn't find this ugly. Mary still looked beautiful.

The water had gotten lukewarm by the time Mary stopped crying.

Mary shivered once she realized this fact. She pulled her head back from Yumeko's shoulder, 'Oh gosh, I'm so sorry I cried this much.' She scooped some water into her hands and washed her face. 'I must look horrible.'

'You look beautiful, Mary.' She moved her hand onto her girlfriend's cheek once she stopped washing away her tears.

'Hah, yeah right.' Mary giggled and turned red from the compliment.

'Look at me,' Her thumb drew circles on Mary's chin. 'I mean it. Thank you for letting your guard down. I love you so much.'

'Yumeko,' Mary leaned into Yumeko's hand. 'Thank you for being someone I can feel comfortable around. I love you.' Their hearts beamed from the mutual adoration. They each loved each other just as much the other loved them. They were equally understood by each other.

Yumeko brought Mary's forehead to her own. She knew exactly what Yumeko wanted whenever she brought their foreheads together. Mary moved to catch Yumeko in a soft kiss. The other girl giggled against Mary's lips.

The couple was already amazing at verbal communication, and that made their physical ten times stronger. They could understand what they were trying to say as well as when they were gambling.

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Yumeko shivered, 'I'm cold.'

Mary moved closer, 'I am too. Can you warm me?'

Yumeko pulled back and smiled, 'I can warm you a lot better when we get out of the freezing bath.'

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Mary leaned back on her hands, 'I guess now that it's over.'

Yumeko laughed at the pout on Mary's face as she stood up to get out. Mary followed after her once the effects of Yumeko's body heat leaving the bath caught up to her. They wrapped their towels around themselves and walked out of the room with an arm around each other.

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After both of them changed into clothes from Yumeko's drawer, (Mary insisted that none of her clothes were as comfortable as Yumeko's) they ordered their dessert and made a cocoon of blankets on the couch.

Mary's voice vibrated on to Yumeko's chest and into her ribs as she talked about how this mess started. Yumeko gave support to Mary by stroking her hair and drawing shapes on her back.

After Mary finished, Yumeko kissed her forehead. Mary looked up from where her head was resting and stared into Yumeko's eyes. They twinkled with admiration and love. Mary had never felt safer than she was at that moment.

'Thank you so much for being here. I don't think I can do this with you. I love you so much.'

Yumeko's hand at Mary's waist moved to rest on her cheek. 'We're going to get you through this, Mar.'

Mary tucked a strand of black hair behind Yumeko's ear so that she could see her better. 'I'm here for you too, Yume. If you ever need help, I want to be there for you.'

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Yumeko gleamed as Mary shifted to rest her forehead on Yumeko's. Her forehead barely settled on Yumeko's before Yumeko pressed her lips into Mary's.

The blonde tangled her fingers in silky black hair. 'Someone's awfully eager.'

In response, Yumeko's hands found their way under her shirt that Mary borrowed. 'I love showing you how I feel. Even then, I'm not the only one moving quickly, am I?'

Mary shivered from the contact, while Yumeko giggled. Mary rolled her eyes from being laughed at but smirked as she bit Yumeko's lower lip causing her to gasp. 'Two can play it that way.'

Mary ran her tongue over Yumeko's lower lip before sucking on it. She caught the moan in her throat so Mary couldn't hear it, but she was sorely mistaken. It only egged Mary on to slip her tongue into her mouth. Yumeko did a messy job of covering up her whimper. Mary's tongue tickled Yumeko's teeth, the ridges of the roof, and finally intertwined with Yumeko's. Unknown to Mary, Yumeko was not going to let Mary have all the fun. Once Mary's tongue was centered in her mouth, she sucked on it eliciting a surprised moan from Mary. 'I hope you had your fun, because it's my turn.'

Yumeko slowly slid her hands from Mary's waist to grab her thighs and push her back. Mary's arms landed beside her head from the fall. Yumeko took clear advantage of this and pinned them above her head with one hand. The other hand she used to place under her chin. Mary's eyes darted to the other girl's hips. Her shorts were short and tight on her body. They sat dangerously on Mary's stomach.

'As much as love to watch your face when you look at my body,' The hand under Mary's chin tilted her head up. Her ringed thumb brushed Mary's lower lip. Yumeko's brown, tinted-red eyes lanced through Mary's. 'I want you to look at me.'

As Yumeko leaned in for another kiss, Mary attempted to meet Yumeko half-way but was tricked when Yumeko went for her jaw instead. Mary shuddered; she'd always had a sensitive neck. Moving her hand away from Mary's chin and next to her head, Yumeko stamped kisses around Mary's neck and collarbone and, occasionally, stopped to leave marks, especially on her pulse points and where her bones stuck out.

Mary quivered from the sensations underneath Yumeko. Mary tugged at the hand holding her down. 'We both know I want more.'

So she whined when Yumeko pulled away from the hickey she was leaving on the crook of her neck and moved up to kiss across her dark red cheeks but wasn't whining for long. Yumeko grabbed Mary's shirt and slowly pulled it off. 'I don't expect you to have the self-control for teasing, so feel free to start begging.'

Mary undoubtedly took the challenge, but almost lost from Yumeko's nails raking her stomach. When Yumeko reached her ribs, Mary caved, 'Yu-'

Ding! Dong!

They both froze.

'Fuck!'

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'I wanna make fun of heteros.'

'And I need you to loosen up with a kid's movie.'

Yumeko and Mary tend to forget the world when they were together. This was even more prominent when they made out. All it took was one kiss, and they would forget they were in the mess hall with Itsuki and Ryota. This shouldn't have been a problem when they were home alone, except for one spot. It was a spot on the couch that could be seen through the window of the door.

The only reason they sat there was to see the dessert deliverer show up. Of course, they had not only forgotten about that, but also that they had anybody to expect.

If things couldn't get any worse, the deliverer was a guy. Mary knew that not all guys sexualized women loving women couples, but she did not know who he was. Knowing this Yumeko answer the door while Mary hid in a blanket. She was always the better one at handling awkward situations with her trained poker face and seemingly innocent manner. After thanking him and wishing him well, Yumeko shut the door and burst into laughter while walking to the couch.

'Did you see the look on his face? He was so embarrassed! He did not once make eye contact with me! And his blinking! He was blinking so fast.' Yumeko ran to the coffee table and set the pints of ice cream down.

'It's a lot easier for you to laugh when you didn't almost flash a random guy!' Mary crossed her arms from under the blankets. She brought one over her face, 'We're never ordering from there ever again.'

Yumeko had a heartwarming smile on her face as she came back with spoons. Mary was immediately thrown off by it. 'You aren't excited by the risk?'

Mary said her words like it was a known fact, 'Of course, I wasn't excited by the risk,' Her eyes widened, 'I wasn't excited by the risk! Yumeko!' Mary jumped into Yumeko's arms.

They laughed as rocked from side to side. 'This is going to be fine. We're going to be okay.' Mary truly believed those words at that moment.

Yumeko wishes she had the same perspective. She knew Mary was going to be okay, but Yumeko was born this way. No matter how much progress she made; she'd still need to risk something even if it wasn't in a gamble. She didn't tell Mary this. She was too happy for Mary to crush her hope for her.

'We shall celebrate with ice cream and a Disney movie!' Yumeko pulled Mary to the other side of the couch where their desserts laid.

Mary cringed, 'Disney?' she pulled out their ice cream and wrapped them in blankets while Yumeko open Disney on the TV.

'We'll watch a princess movie. You can make fun of the main couple, calm down, and I can sing the songs!' She took her mint chocolate chip ice cream from Mary and clicked on Sleeping Beauty.

'They are literally as straight as they come. You're encouraging me at this point.' She chuckled before scooping her spoon into her strawberry ice cream.

'They have such a pretty song though! The fairy godmothers are so funny! The entire movie is so cute!' Yumeko giggled as she snuggled into Mary's neck.

'They're an arranged marriage, Yume.'

'But they fell in love without even knowing!'

'I don't know Aurora seemed kinda depressed when she found out she was marrying a man she never met. I think that's the whole reason she was so easily swayed to prick the spinning wheel. Don't even get me started on that spinning wheel shit. You want me to believe that they got rid of every single spinning wheel in the entire kingdom? So many clothing businesses probably suffered. Just for her to prick her finger anyway.' Yumeko stuffed the mint chocolate chip ice cream into Mary's mouth.

'Shush, the prince is about to come on.'

'You're lucky I love you enough to watch this.'

'You love me enough to watch this and let me quote it at least 20 more times.'

'I love you more than 20 times.'

'And I love you enough to agree with some of your points.'

'You're biased.'

'Guilty as charged.'

'Then should I punish you?'

'Mary! The movie just started!'

'I get it, but after I'm bringing out the cuffs.'

'What am I going to do with you?'

Mary giggled. They were quiet as the movie progressed.

'Thank you.'

Yumeko looked up at Mary, 'For what?'

'For not gambling with me. I know that must've been tough on you. I'm sorry I let it get this far.'

'I told you; I'm more than fine. I got to spend the day with you instead of at the university, and it's not your fault. We all need help sometimes. I love you so much.'

'I love you so much.'

--

A/N

thank you for reading this! this is a testing fic , because, one, i haven't written in a while, two i've never written yumary, and, three, i wanted to experiment with different genres. i knew i wanted this to be angst, but i didn't think it was going to go down the direction of hurt/lots of comfort. please tell me what you think of the direction it went down, and my interpretation of the characters! can we talk about how in the manga it took miri and miyo years to communicate without talking and yumeko and mary gambled three times together and mastered it. i am going to be using this a lot.

also, addictions are a very serious matter. i have had to deal with the effects of addiction all my life and this fanfiction doesn't scratch the surface of what it's like. writing this has helped me cope and given me an ideawhat the person close to me had to go through. everybody's experience is different and i don't want to discredit anyone. i am also not trying to mock or romanticize addiction. if you are struggling with an addiction i really hope you find the help that you need.

i hope this wasn't too long. this took me 5 days to write so i should have another one up by next week. send me stuff u want me to write about too!

thank you so much 3